Schätzchen, Ich brauche keinen anderen.
Monday, December 21, 2009
I've hidden the anger post I've posted a couple of days ago; before this one.
Why? Simply because I'm nolonger angry and I've reached the brighter side.
(The power of being me)
I wanna thank Mr Low, Miss Tristano, and Murphy (I know right... murphy the giant... makes me sick -.- ty for acting like you were listeningg to me; ps. I know you were looking at protein stuff all along!). Glad to know that my facilitators actually care and are genuinely concern about me a lot! Hence, it was really my fault (I know there's a better word to describe it but pardon my limited vocabulary) for thinking otherwise.
In fact, if I had a chance to change certain things I've done before, I would. Now I feel kinda bad. But I didn't really know them well after all. I'll make it up to them (: and no it's not as serious as what you think I did).
Tomorrow, I'm going to have a fresh start and do my best for the Ritz Carlton Interview. (And hopefully, I'll be welcomed as part of their team/ family) I like their website. I like their corporate culture. Definitely hope for 6 months of happiness than struggles.
On my way to become a better person.
Beeep- 'scuse me; Rachel fumbling through.
Reason for the exceptionally happy me; I realised something:
In order to fulfil someone elses dream, you have to diminish another person's hope.
It happens to be mine this time. But that's okay. I'm happy because I know that there will be a time for me.
God's playing this game and he knows the rules because he created it.
MELBOURNE OR NO MELBOURNE...?
& TRIP'S TOO SHORRT!
Baby, you're my everything.
I'll love you every tomorrow of my life. ♥
Friday, December 18, 2009
I can't put up an act anymore.
I can't act like I'm okay anymore.
I can't lie to anyone anymore.
"I hope you're okay with it"
No, I'm not okay. Why would I be?
Whenever there is something I want. It gets snatched away.
I thought this time would be different but it's not.
I wish swearing makes me feel better but it doesn't.
I wish hating everyone would help suppress my pain but it doesn't.
I wish someone would step in to pull me up again.
But there's none.
Who can I rely on?
As usual.. the motivational side of me (I think this is what I love most about myself):
The architect and construction company: We need to tear down this old building to carry out our new project to build a stronger and futuristic building.
The community: But this old building, though crumbling has well defined us and our surrounding. We feel very much at home here, with this old building around.
A&C to Comm: But you have to bear with the change and the process of tearing down the old building. Because that sacrifice will bring you a greater change.
So for now, everything within me is crumbling and my world is falling apart.
But I believe my friends can be the building bricks of the construction of a better me.
YAY *pat on the back*
Priority number 1: Solve the problem between A and I. Dubai is history.
Priority number 2: Stop crying so much. Do something constructive instead like solving the problems and making things happen rather than hoping.
Priority number 3: Try to see the bright side of the other alternatives I have. Make the best out of it. (note to self: I can and I will)
Baby, you're my everything.
I'll love you every tomorrow of my life. ♥
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday. I want to do something very special on my bday.
I want 18th to be special and fun. I know it's still early and all.. But I hate it when people don't remember despite it being so 'cool' (FYI; Jan 1st is so not cool, everyone's busy with their own stuffs -.-). It's only a day that comes only after 364 days a year. I don't want it to be screwed up. D:
Baby, you're my everything.
I'll love you every tomorrow of my life. ♥
Friday, December 04, 2009
Happy 2nd Anniversary, hun. ♥
Baby, you're my everything.
I'll love you every tomorrow of my life. ♥
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
You know; the less I think about it..
The more I realised how unnecessary the worries I've had are.
It is no doubt a great relief for me.
I mean... friends have always told me there isn't much to worry about and I'm always thinking things too deep or taking things too hard.
But when facilitators step in.. They seem to make a huge difference.
Somehow, it's easier to trust them.
Or maybe it is because I trust them more, that's why their words of advice have a great impact on me.
Though the past week or so, thinking less and trying to take things with just a pinch of salt really makes a lot of things better.
(Thanks a lot to all the people who've helped me/ who have at least tried :)
I'm starting to think that I was wrong to look at things so pessimistically that it is unfair to those around me, and those who tried to help me.
I guess the important thing now is to find and recognise the purpose and meaning of doing things instead of doing them, for the sake of "Oh, cos I think it'll be good for me... maybe.. in the future".
Cos so far, I don't think I've really seen any benefits coming out from all the stress. Unless you consider the huge relief after each 'ordeal' something beneficial or at least, thrilling (yeah right about this -.-).
Instead of having the constant urge and stubbornness to want to go higher, it's probably better now, to go horizontal now instead; and I don't mean my size. It's probably the right time to develop and polish whatever skills I have to make full use out of all the time I have now. Maybe through this I will be able to find something meaningful (at least for now).
There's another thing though.. I've probably developed a wrong set of thinking for quite a while. It's probably the narrow-mindedness that is/ was within me. Though I never liked to judge people, I guess for the past month, I've done it so many times. And now, to think about it and to look back again, I guess I was wrong. I've probably misjudge good intentions and judge others according to how I would like them to be. It's really bad, and I don't feel good about it. But hopefully, I'll be able to make up for that. Sincerity is all it takes right? And I've still got some time. I'll make things right.
Abrupt ending- BYE.
Baby, you're my everything.
I'll love you every tomorrow of my life. ♥
Saturday, November 28, 2009
For a long time, I've forgotten what I used to think, believe and feel.
What's left in me now are traces of beliefs, happiness, and optimism left after what seemed to be a hurricane passing through.
I forgot how I used to express myself. I forgot how I've expressed my thoughts through poems. I forgot how I've used words to describe them, instead of facial expressions and swear words to vent my frustrations.
I forgot how I used to enjoy being just the person I am.
I forgot how I used to think.
Such optimism, and probably a teensy bit of creativity to analyse things that defined me.
Yet, somehow, stress got the better of me over the recent months.
I lost my motivation, my goals, my character,
I got "who I am" and "What I want" mixed up.
Because of greed I've became so angry, so upset about every little imperfection.
I've always been a perfectionist. I've always been ambitious.
But the past few months have gotten a little overboard;
Not like how I'd like it to be.
Not like how I would have thought it will be.
It caught me by surprise and like a snowball, it kept rolling.
Until it got out of hand.
Thank god though, I've people around me to remind me that all those I've been doing, and all those I've been yearning for, isn't the core of my life.
You know what..? I'm just waiting to regain my inner peace and be happy and thankful for who I am and not trying to change myself to become someone else that I'm not.
Why? Simply because it is too stressful. I can't take it.
"In life, you have to take everything with a pinch of salt"
If I want to succeed, I must learn to move forward and forgo the things I can't change or have no control over.
I probably can replicate who I was in the past since I can hardly remember now.
Even the little traces left are being reminded by good friends who still remembers how I was in the past.
I want the optimism I've had.
I want the strong beliefs I've given up for something unworthy in the past.
I want inner peace, something I've deprived myself of for far too long.
It's time to move forward, redefining myself once again.
Grades don't shape my character, and it shouldn't define me as a person.
Baby, you're my everything.
I'll love you every tomorrow of my life. ♥
Monday, November 23, 2009
I am not sure why you decide to change your idea at the last minute.
The way I see this, the team was not really thinking through the ideas.
I am actually quite surprised knowing that in the first two meetings, all of you are generally participative and active. And given the fact that all of you are DHHM students who has worked in a hotel one way or another, I would assume that you would have known better on word usage, and idea generations in hotel.
I notice that the class whining and comments irk you as you present your idea. But I cannot blame the class on wanting to cut you in the presentation because I also feel the same way.
The way you describe this "need a friend" service does sounds negative. In any way. Especially when you mention that this will be advertised in TV or in the newspaper. Which newspaper? Singapore/ or overseas?
You should have empathy too. Think of yourself as a board of director. What would you do if your staff is presenting such ideas.
Luckily, at the end it was clarified. Although the word "personal companion" was still used.
After learning from today's bizzare presentation, I do hope that each and everyone of you will do better in presentation. You were so good last week, and I hope that you will be more articulate. And this is to everyone, not just Dominic who happened to be presenting the slide where everyone reacted negatively.
I also hope that you will better manage your time to avoid such last minute presentation which will result on not paying attention to the other teams.
Rachel,
You came to the rescue. However this should have been done a lot earlier.
When other team can come up with decent ideas in a stipulated times, I don't see why things has to be very last minute for this team.
DG: C
It's my first..
You bet I'm filled with regrets.
But it's okay. I'll be fine.
I'll leave this here and set things right this week.
Somehow, it has to work. I will make it work.
Baby, you're my everything.
I'll love you every tomorrow of my life. ♥
